What is Internal Family Systems {IFS}?
Internal Family Systems & Ego State Work In Long Island, New York
“Parts Therapy” - a way to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Parts work is a therapy approach that has been helpful to clients who have struggled with anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, and uses a non- pathologizing approach.
Parts work believes that we are all made up of different parts of ourselves; each part necessary to help us survive different aspects and times in our lives.
Both, Ego State work, by Watkins & Watkins, and as well as in Internal Family Systems, by Richard Schwartz, utilize a “parts approach”.
Understand the ways you function, work past unproductive patterns, and find more balance in the way you live and love.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to psychotherapy developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz, Ph. D. that allows for an incredibly visual and in-depth self-discovery process and healing journey.
The basic premise of parts work is that our conscious minds are made up of multiple sub-personalities or “parts”. Because our systems are so incredibly powerful and adaptive, each “part” develops its own perspectives, interests, memories, and viewpoints to protect the “self” in different ways.
Traumatic or harmful incidents and past relationships cause the system to develop protective “parts” that step in and take over as needed.
Over time, “parts” get layered and more complicated, especially if healthy coping skills have not been learned. When one protector after another is activated (and they start to conflict with each other), it takes over the system causing stagnation, dysregulation and/or dysfunctional behaviors.
Because the “self” is the natural leader of the internal system, the goal of IFS is for the protectors to learn to trust the “self” again (can also be referred to as intuition).
All “parts” have positive intentions even if their actions or effects seem to be counterproductive or dysfunctional.
Because their intentions are always good, the goal is to help guide the parts to get along with each other, creating harmony and a sense of gratitude for each of their jobs. When good intentions are recognized, there is no need to fight with, coerce, or try to eliminate any of the “parts”. They are all important aspects of ourselves that have helped us become who we are.
Parts, and their roles.
Exiles are “parts” that have been shoved down deep inside. They are usually parts that were formed in childhood and are characterized by feelings of shame, fear and “never enough-ness”, and are rooted in trauma and attachment gaps. Managers and firefighters constantly work to protect the exiled parts from reaching consciousness, to prevent uncomfortable emotions and pain from surfacing.
Managers are “protector” parts. They are the proactive “parts” that manage interactions with the outside world. They each have different personas that actively protect other parts or exiles from suffering or being hurt by others. They work hard to manage and prevent painful or traumatic feelings and experiences from surfacing and flooding the consciousness.
The Inner Critic or Perfectionist as a “Manager”
Manager might take on personas of different authority figures that the person has been exposed to throughout their lives (so for instance, if someone was raised in a critical environment, their “inner critic” will likely have a regular managing role, with similar critical messaging to critical authority figures).
Firefighters are also “protector” parts, but they take on more of a reactive role. They are signaled when exiles “break out” and demand attention. Like an actual firefighter, these “parts” will do whatever it takes to “put out fires”. But unlike actual firefighters, these parts are not always trained in the best strategies (kind of like if you didn’t know better, you might pour water on a grease fire, which would make the fire worse... but if you learned fire safety, you would know that a fire extinguisher or baking soda would work well, and then call an emergency number if that wasn’t working).
These may look like a part of you that drinks alcohol to numb out pain, is neglectful or unbalanced in self care routines { sleep, eating, sex} or engages in extreme passivity or sometimes uses rage or other intense emotions or behaviors to express something.
Helping parts learn to use skills that allow you to live with more balance and joy
Children who don’t learn effective skills when they are younger, when they are adults they will have firefighter parts that have ineffective strategies. In order to protect the exiles or other parts, these un-trained firefighters might use impulsive and dysregulated behaviors like obsessive compulsions, manipulation, violence, extreme distractions (like overworking, over-exercising or oversleeping), disordered eating, drug or alcohol use or inappropriate sexual encounters.
The Self is whole and true underneath its collection of parts. It is the spiritual center that has its own qualities (the 8 C’s & 5 P’s) that distinguish it from the other parts. During treatment, a person will know that the “self” has been accessed because challenges will be approached using the 8 C's; Compassion, Curiosity, Calm, Clarity, Courage, Connectedness, Confidence and Creativity, and the 5 P’s; Playfulness, Patience, Presence, Perspective & Persistence.
Primary Characteristics & Types of Relationships Between Parts
Protection: Managers and firefighters work to protect exiled parts from any pain or suffering.
Polarization: When two or more parts have extreme roles and battle over how to feel or react, a person can feel torn inside. IFS has a method for working with polarized parts, creating space for each extreme while problem solving solutions.
Alliance: When two parts work together, it may be easier to help facilitate and accomplish goals.
Burdens: Parts in extreme roles will carry "burdens," meaning painful emotions or negative beliefs that have formed as a result of harmful experiences in the past. These burdens are not intrinsic to the part and can be released or "unburdened" through the IFS process. Protectors will generally share burdens with exiles and won’t usually let go of their protective roles and transform to a healthier version of themselves until they know that the exile has been unburdened. In order to work with the exile, protectors will need to be on board and may require some reassurance.
If you’re looking to read a blog that explains parts work and internal conflicts, read here.
ADVANTAGES of IFS Therapy :
It is an evidence based approach that has been shown to help manage physical stress as well as emotional stress long term
Clients can develop self-reliance and do not become overly dependent on the therapist for ongoing support. Once proficient, clients can do a lot of the work on their own, hence the play on words that is often used to describe this modality is “Self Therapy”
It is a non-pathologizing approach so people who are uncomfortable with labels will find it non-threatening and it is suitable for virtually any disorder (so no diagnosis is needed).
It is a creative and dynamic form of psychotherapy that can be adjusted, and core principles can be in combination with all types of creative arts therapies.
Potential for rapid progress
Things to keep in mind:
Because it is a method that can theoretically be done without therapeutic support, an a base level of self awareness is required so support can be obtained when needed.
Want a bit more about how we use “parts” therapy? Click video below for more.
If you’re looking to resolve intense emotions or heal from your past pains, this may be a good therapy approach for you.
Clients have found that their behaviors slowly shift and symptoms of panic, worry, dread and anger soften as they get to understand their “parts” and find a way to help their minds and bodies feel more calm and trusting of themselves and the world around them.
At Integrative Psychotherapy, we integrate parts work in our therapy sessions and would be happy to help you start feeling better.
Reach out for your consultation today- we offer virtual therapy for clients across New York.
Want more information and story about healing using “parts therapy”?
Click here for a blog about parts work and the some common internal conflicts and ways to resolve them.
A note about our fees: our session fee for individual therapy is $250-350, and we provide the paperwork for your insurance company for out of network reimbursement if you have out of network benefits.